08/03/09 Class Exercise

1. As soon as I opened the door to the apartment, I knew that my roommate had played party host all weekend long.

As soon as I opened the door to the apartment, I knew that my roommate had played party host all weekend long. The door barely opened from the stack of pizza boxes shoved in the corner. Two girls were asleep on the couch at either end with a bottle of vodka sticking out from beneath the cushion between them. There were at least 40 empty beer cans on the coffee table spilling onto the floor. An empty beer keg sat on the kitchen table while a naked man slept curled up underneath with the tablecloth over his face. And the biggest indicator was the pile of crumpled up neon orange fliers that said "ROOMMATE GONE THIS WEEKEND! BYOB!"


2. There are many ways that the university bookstore takes advantage of students.

There are many ways that the university bookstore takes advantage of students. They will not allow refunds on optional texts. They never seem to have the books needed for the first week of class, instead saying it will be in on a specific date so you tredge into the store looking for the book only to find its still not in and by the time it is in, you've spent more money on soft drinks than the book cost in the first place. They mark the prices up tremendously on everything from t-shirts to spark notes. The lists of books needed is listed by section number rather than class time and place the way most students remember them. But the biggest way they rip us off is by only giving us pennies on the dollar for books we purchased or worse, not even buying them back when we had to buy a new Algebra book for $176.47.

3. When it was all said and done, I was just glad to call it a day.

My daughter peed in her bed in the wee hours of the morning, striped out of her wet clothes and decided to crawl in my bed and pee on me too. I was woke up by the smoke alarm since my husband had forgotten to check the oven before he turned it on and melted my favorite bowl. When I woke up, I realized I was soaked, the bed was soaked and I thought the house was on fire so I grabbed the naked pee covered child in my bed and ran towards the back door only to step on a hairball conveniently left so I could step on it with my bare feet by my loving cat. By that point, the squirming child in my arms was screaming, the husband was screaming, and of course, I was screaming too while trying to get the slime off my foot. All the screaming gave me a headache. So I went to school where I had a pop quiz in one class, the teacher didn't show up for the other and I lost my student ID. I started towards my car and the front tire was flat which reminded me my husband took my jack out of my trunk the week before and my cell phone was dead. When it was all said and done, I was just glad to call it a day.

4. When I first met Fern, I knew immediately that she was a smoker.

When I first met Fern, I knew immediately that she was a smoker. There was a haze of smoke that followed her everywhere she went. Her nails were yellow. Her eyes were bloodshot. She coughed up chunks that she spit on the sidewalk every time she laughed. Oh and she was wearing a t-shirt that said "I smoke. Get over it."

5. My roommate has a very peculiar morning ritual.

When his first alarm goes off, he usually screams and throws something at it from across the room. When his second alarm goes off, his girlfriend yells at him and shoves him out of their bed so he will turn it off. When the third alarm goes off, I usually scream and throw something in his general direction from my room down the hall. Once he actually gets out of bed, he walks around the house in his scooby doo boxers while scratching himself and murming under his breath on the way to his treadmill. He turns on Hip Hop Harry on Discovery kids and dances and sings along with that sad rapping teddy bear while he runs on his treadmill for an hour. After working out awhile in his underwear, he goes into the kitchen and falls back asleep in his cereal before his girlfriend sees he's asleep again and wakes him up again. My roommate has a very peculiar morning ritual.


6. Attending USI has changed my life in many ways.

Attending USI has changed my life in many ways. I've grown up as a person. I've changed my majors and my financial outlook for life at least 3 times. I rode public transit and met strange people. I discovered that what I loved to do wasn't something I wanted to do for a living. And I've made some friends that I'll want to keep around for the rest of my life.